Dance, Sing and Drink Wine

Daily Necessities of Life – and Coffee Helps Too

Spring In Michigan – A Different Kind of March Madness

There are so many blog posts this month about the beauties of spring. They are filled with beautiful pictures of butterflies and budding flowers. They contain telling tales of sunshine and spring wonder. They all have a touch of spring magic, if you will. Bull-dippitydoo. Not here in Michigan!

This is the closest thing we have to a "floral" picture in March. It's a Snowball Shrub (yes, that's what it really is called) trimmed down in March so it can bloom by June ..... maybe June.

This is the closest thing we have to a “floral” picture in March. It’s a Snowball Shrub (yes, that’s what it really is called) trimmed down in March so it can bloom by May ….. maybe June.

Whatever! These bloggers are clearly NOT from Michigan! Where are they from, Florida?  We don’t have anything like that around here. Not for a loooong time!

Honestly, “Spring” in Michigan is not pretty.

Michigan children delight in stomping through mud. Mostly because they know it makes their Moms Cray Cray!

Michigan children delight in stomping through mud. Mostly because they know it makes their Moms Cray Cray!

In Michigan, we have March Madness.  No, it has nothing to do with basketball. It has to do with the anger in our hearts as our beautiful snow turns in to piles of melting crap, our roads are once again littered with potholes from all the over-used salt trucks and mud is everywhere. Every-Flippin’-Where!

The bright colored sleds looks so dull and sad on damp concrete.

The bright colored sleds looks so dull and sad on damp concrete.

No longer is our snow good for skiing or sledding. It’s just kind of icy, crunchy, crappy, ugly, dirty, pee-filled, filth from the street all over it, muck.

Skis and poles that once made their owners look majestic now await a long season of garage rafters.

Skis and poles that once made their owners look majestic now await a long season of garage rafters.

Kids who used to laugh with joy as they flew down hills on sleds, built snow men and had snowball fights now throw chunks of ice down on the concrete in protest.

Kids who used to laugh with joy as they flew down hills on sleds, built snow men and had snowball fights now throw chunks of ice down on the concrete in protest.

Ice fisherman flee their shanties in fear of falling through the ice. Cross country skis and snow shoes get listed on eBay and Craigslist. Figure skaters and hockey players seek out indoor rinks. Skiers sigh as they clean out their lockers at the ski lodges. The snow boarders just stare in amazement because they are still a little high and aren’t really sure what’s going on. Duuude! Where’s the powder?

The only thing an out door ice rink is good for in the summer is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!

The only thing an out door ice rink is good for in the summer is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!

I honestly think that if I had the right kind of editing software, I could make this pile of parking lot snow look like majestic mountains.

I honestly think that if I had the right kind of editing software, I could make this pile of parking lot snow look like majestic mountains. I’ll bet Kid Rock would write a song about it too. Madonna would not.

People love to tout Michigan as the “Four Season State.” Honestly, it’s really more like two seasons (Summer and Winter) with two transitional periods – aka Spring and Fall. Why do you all think we make so much wine?

We need our glorious Michigan Wines to make it through Spring without torching the whole
Son of a MudBucket state! God Bless Michigan!

Snow Melting Season, aka Spring, is our chance to figure out where our Christmas decorations are and which of our landscaping choices from last summer didn’t stand up to Mother Effin’ Nature.

Spring is merely a vehicle to get us from Winter in to Summer and Fall is just a vehicle to get from Summer to Winter. They don’t count as seasons! They Don’t!

Companies like Under Armour make a lot of money off of Michigan athletes. PLAY BALL!

Companies like Under Armour make a lot of money off of Michigan athletes. PLAY BALL!

Spring sports in Michigan are tricky.  I have literally shoveled snow to get to a buried shed to recover soccer cleats and then — just to add insult to injury — I had to sit in the snow to watch the flippity flapping game!  Last year, we missed Little League signup for my boy because the signs were buried in a blizzard.  He’s playing ball this year, but his baseball parka is on backorder. WTH? 

Yes, we are a pretty sporty state. We love to play, and we love to watch our teams at every level from PeeWee to Pro. But it’s not for the faint of heart in Michigan. You gotta be one tough mofo to watch or play in Michigan.

Behold, for a moment, this incredible view of the Might Mack: The Mackinaw Bridge that connects our two peninsulas. This does show the true beauty of being The Great Lake State

Behold, for a moment, this incredible view of the Might Mack: The Mackinaw Bridge that connects our two peninsulas. This does show the true beauty of being The Great Lake State

Some also refer to Summer as Construction Season – don’t even get me started on that bullshit.

The upside is that often we can use leftover piles of salt as speed bumps! ((Staying Positive!!))

The upside is that often we can use leftover piles of salt as speed bumps! ((Staying Positive!!))

Don’t get me wrong! I LOVE living in Michigan, and I honestly would not live anywhere else.  Where else can we make memories like these all within a 30-minute drive from home?

From summer's beaches to winter's snow-covered splendor, Michigan is a wonderful place to raise an active family.

From summer’s Great Lake beaches to winter’s snow-covered splendor, Michigan is a wonderful place to raise an active family.

But, the price is, we also have to endure memories like this …………… Don’t slip, Princess – You might get dirty!!!!!!!

Gross! Just so, so shitty gross!

Gross! Just so, so shitty gross!

What is spring like where you live? And don’t lie! I have spies in every state!!!!

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14 comments on “Spring In Michigan – A Different Kind of March Madness

  1. Lois Pickford
    March 22, 2015

    Great post! Love how honest you are!

  2. Lisa Babick
    March 23, 2015

    This post made me laugh out loud. I’ve been reading those other articles too and I’m jealous! The beach in March??? Not a chance here in Chicago. Though not as bad as you guys in Michigan, it’s still bad here. In fact, just as we were getting into the swing of spring with the weather, Mother Nature decided to throw some more snow our way. Might be coming your way! Thanks for a great post!

    • Julie Smith
      March 23, 2015

      It did come our way. I was in a bookstore in Kalamazoo a couple hours ago when it hit, and all these people were standing around and whining about it. I wanted to say, “Suck it up, buttercup! We live in Michigan!”

  3. Missy
    March 23, 2015

    spring is retry much the same here–at least for a while! Cold and blah!

    • Julie Smith
      March 23, 2015

      It snowed here today. I had to laugh as others sat and cried, ha ha!

  4. Jenn
    March 23, 2015

    I sympathize with you! Used to live in PA and I hated the defrost so much! Ugh- and the salt piles and potholes. Now I remember why I moved to Atlanta! Thanks for sharing

  5. I am kinda jealous of all of the snow though. It only snowed here one day, and we had maybe an inch. No snowmen this year!

    • Julie Smith
      March 23, 2015

      Hi Gretchen, we’d DIE without our snow. All of my kids are skiers. I think that’s why spring is such a bummer 😉

  6. Jenn
    March 23, 2015

    Looks just like spring in Minnesota! Except yesterday we got a whole new blanket of snow cover and more to come! Gha!! Why?

    • Julie Smith
      March 23, 2015

      We got some snow today, but I think that’s it. We still haven’t put the skis away just yet, though 😉

  7. HAHAHA This is too funny. I live in Northern Utah and sometimes our springs are like yours, but this year it was a very warm and relatively non-snowy winter. It was weird. So right now all the trees are blossoming and daffodils and tulips are popping up. I love it because usually winter goes until April, then we get a warm week followed by a foot of snow, then 90 degrees until September when it has issues with change and is either scorching hot or frigid again, and then bam 10 degrees for 3 months. Except this year… our winter stayed up above 30-40 degrees the whole time. it was so bizarre!

  8. Tricia Leigh Artim
    March 24, 2015

    This is hilarious!! I am in one of those “Southern States” a.k.a. North Carolina, where the weather is beautiful and flowers and butterflies are everywhere, but I have been wondering how Spring is affecting the rest of the country!! I pray that our spring becomes your summer soon, so that all the mud disappears!! Stay warm until then!!

  9. Jena
    March 26, 2015

    LOL! It’s a bit like that here in Minnesota too, but when the flowers bloom… ahhh heavenly 🙂

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