Dance, Sing and Drink Wine

Daily Necessities of Life – and Coffee Helps Too

Sleep Solution for Moms (for real)


Who are these people that always seem to be so well rested? You know, the ones you want to throat punch as soon as their perky morning personality shines through the gloom of morning. How do they sleep at night?

If you’re a Mom (and I’ll even toss a bone and included Dads in here – just because I’m in a good mood), a restful night’s sleep is something you gave up in exchange for your beautiful sleep-robbing family a long-ass time ago.

Honestly, I think my children’s ultimate plan is to break my will thru sleep deprivation.

It’s like they started an organized plan on keeping Mom up even before they should have known how to draw a graph detailing who keeps me up, when and how. Those evil geniuses! They better use those skills to set me up right in my retirement one day!!!!
The other night was particularly bad. First, all the stresses that plague Moms were running a slide show through my brain.

Then, the baby (now six) kicked my husband to the couch and then proceeded to hog our queen bed leaving me dangling over the edge certain I was going to fall out. I didn’t fight that though because then I’d obviously hit my head on the nightstand and knock myself unconscious – not the right kind of sleep.

The next morning, a MIRACLE arrived. Yes, Jesus heard my cries for real sleep and sent me a bottle of pure magic.

Ok, I’m exaggerating. It didn’t come directly from JC.

But, my little phenomenon came via a bottle full of sweet dreams from the good people at Healthy Directions! They sent me a bottle of sweet dreams aka Dr. Xu’s Restful Sleep. Jesus told them to. And also, they saw my blog and thought I might be a good person to review their product for my readers.

I have to admit, I was skeptical as shit. All my life I have never slept through an entire night (except for maybe during my drunken college days, but that’s a whole ‘nother blog post). Add to that, I am a Mom of three kids (two now in middle school) who bring all the drama with them daily, and my former soldier husband recently returned home from 8 years (no typo) of deployments and we’ve still to find him a civilian job that will support a family of five. I GOT STRESS, BITCHES. IT FREAKIN’ KEEPS ME UP ALL HOURS!!!!

I have tried everything. Every. Mother-Loving. Thing. Well, I never did drive to the ghetto at 2am to score some week like a friend of mine once did. That bitch is nuts! But, she did fall asleep. In jail.

I’ve gone the more traditional routes looking for sleep:

This is the kind of crazy scene my dreams would take on when I took melatonin. That's more messed up than a Saturday Fish Fry!

This is the kind of crazy scene my dreams would take to when I took melatonin. That’s more messed up than a Saturday Fish Fry!

Melatonin – Yeah, it puts me to sleep within 30 minutes, but as soon as something wakes me up I have to take more. My sleep is a vicious cycle of cruelty set to dreams of abstract art backdrops and creepy music that hates itself.
Wine – Well hell! I drink it anyway. Day and night. I’m beyond using it as a sleep aid, but I like to use it as my excuse for my fifth glass of the day anyway.
Cough Syrup – Kill me!
Other OTC “Remedies” – If they work (and that’s a big fucking IF), then they either leave me with a hangover worse than any whiskey/tequila mixer could ever do to me OR they work one night and then NEVER EVER AGAIN! Those Sleep-Teasing Bastards!

So, this came in the mail for me to try out, and all I could in my sleep-deprived fog of uncertainty was, "Ok."

So, this came in the mail for me to try out, and all I could in my sleep-deprived fog of uncertainty was, “Ok.”

But let me tell you, after four nights, I am one of those annoying fucknuts that sleeps well and has all the energy needed to herd my rag-tag crew of kids around on summer break!

No shit! This wonderful sleep aid helps to put your restless mind to sleep at night and allows you to wake up refreshed and ready for the energy-sucking day that is the reality of motherhood!

Move over illegal-without-a-prescription Adderoll! Mama’s of the world no longer need to sneak these out of the purses of their college-aged nieces! It turns out that all we really needed was a good night’s sleep a la Dr. Xu!! (I wonder if he’s hot?)

Seriously, you must be a Communist if you don't like this shit.

Seriously, you must be a Communist if you don’t like this shit.

Seriously, after trying this for just a few days, I do feel much better and wake up waaaaay more restored each day. Yes, I do still wake up a couple times a night, but all I do is turn over and I go back to sleep very quickly. No tossing and turning and playing alphabet/geography games in my mind. I hope that as I continue on with Restful Sleep, the unwanted wakeups will cease to exist.
I don’t really know how these magic beans work, and I don’t care either — Just let me get some good sleep is all I frickin’ care about. But, if you have one of those inquisitive minds, the formula is like Calgon: An Ancient Chinese Secret.

Ok, not really. But close.

Restful Sleep is a modern formula based on an ancient herbal blend featured in medical texts that date as far back as 220 AD (you know, when they used an entirely different kind of tablet).
dI6AWUr2SFerTvgH7p8N_RSP_b_detail[1]Using some words that I don’t even care to understand:

Traditional Chinese Medicine herbs and essential minerals in Restful Sleep™ help to:

– Calm and quiet a restless mind and body
– Promote a full night’s restful sleep
– Nourish chi to bring harmony and balance into the body
– Promote calm throughout the day
– Restore vitality to the spleen and heart organ systems

Here’s the best part, you get to try it at a discount!!! Use this code (SAVEREST) when you order from Amazon, and you’ll get 20% off!!! Trust me, you will find it is sooooo worth it!

Once you’ve tried it, please come back and comment below to let me know what you think!

In the event you had not figured it out on your own, this is a SPONSORED POST. That is all.

15 comments on “Sleep Solution for Moms (for real)

  1. Charlotte
    June 17, 2015

    I sometimes have to take sleep aids too. Thank you for sharing!!

    • Julie Smith
      June 18, 2015

      I honestly feel like I have discovered a magic bean! Let me know what you think if you try it!

  2. Debbie Woodruff
    June 17, 2015

    I have no more kids at home, but I do have dogs and they are definitely bed hogs, not to mention that they tend to get some kind of bug up their butts in the middle of the night and all 7 (yes, you read that right), leap off the bed to go tearing down the hallway, barking madly, to chase some invisible boogie monster from our front doorstep. Yes, as you can see, I need this.

    • Julie Smith
      June 18, 2015

      Ugh! Our dog, Knuckles, has been waking all of us up lately because of the summer firecracker team that lives down the street. Honestly, once we get him to quit barking, it’s so much easier to fall back to sleep. Try it! I’m using the discount to get another bottle!

  3. parentwithoutamanual
    June 17, 2015

    I need sleep… so badly. No sleep aids for my with my newborn but you can bet I’ll check these out as soon as I can…. I’m no communist after all 😉

    • Julie Smith
      June 18, 2015

      God Bless the Non-Commies, ha ha! Ask the peditrician when you can start. I’m not doctor, but the ingredients are all herbs, seed extracts, etc. Mine let me use a few similar things when I was nursing. BUT listen to the doc and follow your gut. Your baby is more important than ANYTHING! Is this your first?

  4. Shann Eva
    June 17, 2015

    I haven’t slept thru the night in …nope can’t remember. I must try this. Thank you!

    • Julie Smith
      June 18, 2015

      I seriously love this product and will order another as soon as my sample runs out (soon than later since my husband and middle school daughter are using it too)!

  5. klhill1288
    June 17, 2015

    Hmmm this is very interesting! Im going to have to try this!

    • Julie Smith
      June 18, 2015

      Try it! I’m using the discount to get another bottle!

  6. almostsexymommy
    June 19, 2015

    Happy to hear you found something that works for you. 🙂

  7. Lauren White
    June 19, 2015

    Ahh! I’m one of those mom’s you hate because I sleep like a baby every night! My little one is almost 10 months and sleeps for about 12-13 hours. Because of this, mama gets around 8-9 hours of uninterrupted sleep every night! I’m off for the summer (teacher) and I am loving all the sleep. However, when I was pregnant… oh man did I never sleep! It wasn’t because I was uncomfortable, I just couldn’t sleep. I’m glad you found something that works for you!

  8. Cynthia
    June 19, 2015

    I’m a night shifter who could use a little extra help on my home days! Thanks for the review
    Cynthia @craftoflaughter.com

  9. caitlincheevers
    June 19, 2015

    Hah! Abstract art and creepy music. No thanks. Glad you found something that works!
    xo, Caitlin
    And Possibly Dinosaurs

  10. Naturally Nicole
    June 19, 2015

    Thanks for sharing! – Sleep deprived Mama of two

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This entry was posted on June 16, 2015 by in General Snarkiness, Offers, Uncategorized and tagged , .

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